There are moments I fear I have messed up God’s plans for my life. Can anyone else relate?

This is an easy trap to fall into as we reflect on our lives. We should ask the Lord to search and know us so that we can grow in maturity. It is also so important to take our thoughts captive and ensure they do not overtake the truth found in God’s word.

I wonder sometimes though if the circumstances of my life would be different if I made better decisions in the past. Have my failures ruined God’s plans? I’m coming to the conclusion that this is a pointless question to ask. All through the Bible we see how God works in and through His people’s lives even in the midst of their sins and failures.  When Moses killed the Egyptian and had to flee from his position as the prince of Egypt, I wonder if he felt like he had ruined his life. Yet we see how God continues to bring him to the place he would be used to free the people of Israel from their slavery. 

David was a man who was guilty of adultery and murder but what is he known for? He was called a man after God’s own heart. What an amazing picture of God’s grace and what His grace can accomplish in our lives! David was not defined by his sins and failures, rather was defined by his love and dependance on God. While he still experienced earthly consequences for his sin, as we do, God showed David His great mercy and restored to him the joy of his salvation. The Bible makes it clear our heart is deceitful and wicked, and therefore we all will be guilty of much sin. The thing that makes all the difference for eternity is how we responded to our sin:  did we have thoughts of worldly regret or did we turn from our sin to Jesus in godly repentance?

Recently,while going for a walk, I was wrestling with a fear that comes from time to time. Is the reason I’m still single because I’m overweight? That thought grieved my heart. I slowly started to think about how I should be more grieved that I haven’t stewarded my body in a way that honors God. It weighed heavy on my heart. Over the next couple of days God helped me to understand in a fresh way that I don’t have to live in fear and grief. My failures can’t ever take away all the mercy, compassion and forgiveness I’ve found in Jesus. The truth is all my days were planned out by God before I was born and nothing I do can change His kind sovereignty. I’m single today because of God’s good plans for my life and I find much comfort and contentment in this truth.

Praise God that His plans and faithfulness are not dependent on us. He is able to bring good from bad. Because of His mercy, we can be confident all of our days will still be directed by the Lord’s loving kindness. When the enemy tempts us to discouragement, may we think upon the goodness and the riches of God’s grace. 

“When Satan tempts me to despair

And tells me of the guilt within

Upward I look and see Him there

Who made an end to all my sin

Because the sinless Savior died

My sinful soul is counted free

For God the Just is satisfied

To look on Him and pardon me”